Here's our version of "If I Had You" with rewritten lyrics (written by @laihiu & @Co_squared):

so you're 29 now
turning from "ugly duckling"
to a hot sexy unffing lovely glittery bling bling
and you're 29 now
but we know age don't matter
all we need in this world is some love
there's a thin line 'tween the dark side
and the light side, baby tonight
it's your birthday, straight or gays, fire up purple haze

yeah happy birthday
that would be the only thing we wanna say
yeah happy birthday
may money fame and fortune always come your way
it's your birthday
we the kongberts flail over you every day
yeah happy birthday, day day day day day,
day day day day day day, day day day day day day day!
Happy birth-

blow out the candlelights
this day feels so good
and we've got you stuck on our minds, yeah!
the way you own the stage
it just gets us high
especially because tonight

that would be the only thing we wanna say
yeah happy birthday
may money fame and fortune always come your way
it's your birthday
we the kongberts flail over you every day
yeah happy birthday, day day day day day,
day day day day day day, day day day day day day day!
happy birthday
that would be the only thing we wanna say
yeah happy birthday
may money fame and fortune always come your way
it's your birthday
we the kongberts flail over you every day
yeah happy birthday, day day day day day,
day day day day day day, day day day day day day day!
Happy birthday!